The Self: Wisdom and Healing Within
I have some simple thoughts about human nature: we were made to be in relationships, we’re wounded in relationships, and we are healed in relationships. The most important relationship, besides with your higher power (if you believe in one), is with yourself.
It is widely known that one in five people in the United States struggles with mental health and many take some type of antidepressant or anti-anxiety medication. These medications have varying degrees of success and for many, unpleasant side effects. And often we are pointing the firehose at the smoke detector and not the flames.
Healing Starts from the Inside
True healing and restoration come from connecting with our authentic Self and being Self-led. The Self is not a “part,” rather the essence of you, your authentic self that is capable of guiding your internal system with clarity and compassion. Richard Schwartz, the founder of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, defines the "Self" as an innate state of wisdom, compassion, and inherent goodness, distinct from the "parts" (thoughts, feelings, and beliefs) that make up our internal system (Schwartz, 1995).
True healing and restoration come from connecting with our authentic Self, this requires moments of silence.
Healing Starts from the Inside
How it Works
Daily, we need to intentionally carve out time away from distractions to go inward. We need to quiet the noise in our minds and the external world so that we can hear the inner, wise, and compassionate voice of our authentic Self. This can be done in a variety of ways, such as journaling, meditation, artwork, music, yoga, dancing, or other movements. For those experiencing a lot of internal chatter which makes it difficult to be still, engaging with an IFS therapist or life coach may be beneficial to jump-start the process.
With one in five people struggling with mental health issues, we must ask: what happened? Our culture pushes us to keep moving, often at the expense of our well-being. Pushed to do more and more, many of us follow rigid and frenzied daily routines: wake up, work, eat, sleep, repeat. And we are more isolated than ever, especially post-pandemic, as many of us work and connect online rather than in person.
Our souls have become malnourished. We have everything within us to heal emotionally, our authentic Self. The Self is the core of who we are, and our Self often gets overshadowed by the need to achieve, perform, be perfect, people-please, or just be "good enough."
Internal Family Systems (IFS) calls these traits “parts” of ourselves. But the Self is not a part—rather, it is innately who we are before we were shaped by negative life experiences, such as the stresses of daily life or the small and big T traumas we’ve endured.
Protective parts (or defenses) develop to keep us safe, and while these parts are well-intentioned, they ultimately disconnect us from our authentic Self, the center of our healing.
To reconnect with our Self, we need to be intentional about creating stillness in our routines. We need to journey inward, in silence, to hear our inner voice and tap into our wisdom, allowing us to honor our needs and desires. This enables us to show up authentically, replacing fear with curiosity and letting go of the need for external validation. Sitting still and focusing inward also helps calm our nervous systems, shifting them from a state of fight or flight to one of rest and restoration.
I commend you for taking the time to invest in your well-being by reading this blog. To learn more about how to reconnect with your authentic Self, read Daily Practice for Self: Connection: My Internal Family Check-In, and check under my Resources tab to access several IFS and other meditations. And, if the noise in your head is too loud and you’re struggling to tap into your inner wisdom contact me to schedule a free 15-minute consultation.
May you be inspired, and in the moment.
Reference:
Schwartz, R. (1995). Internal Family Systems Therapy. Guilford Press.
